The Vault of Horror (otherwise known as Vault of Horror, Further Tales from the Crypt and Tales from the Crypt II) is a British anthology horror film made in 1973 by Amicus Productions. None of the film's stories are actually from Vault of Horror comics. All but one appeared in Tales from the Crypt, the exception being from Shock Suspense-Stories.
Five strangers board a descending lift, one by one, in a modern office block in London. They reach the sub-basement, though none of them have pressed for that destination. There they find a large, elaborately furnished room that appears to be a gentlemen's club. The lift door has closed; there are no buttons to bring it back, nor any other exit. Resigned to waiting for help, they settle down with drinks and talk. The conversation turns to dreams, and each man tells of a recurring nightmare.
Midnight Mess
Harold Rogers tracks his sister Donna to a strange village, and kills her to claim her share of the family inheritance. After settling down to a post-murder meal at the local restaurant, he slowly realizes both the town and restaurant are filled with long toothed vampire's. Its the exact same cartoonish plot and horror as you would get from the actual comic, and its a perfectly goofy start to this fun as hell movie. i mean come on, it ends with him becoming the dish of the night when his jugular vein is tapped out as a beverage dispenser.
this shit is awesome as fuck, and we have 4 more to go
The Neat Job
This segment is a strange mix of slapstick comedy and actual abuse
The obsessively neat Arthur Critchit marries Eleanor, a "young" trophy wife who is not quite the housekeeper he hoped for. His constant abuse about the mess she makes eventually drives her mad, and I have i was begging for her to kill him almost instantly. it sad as shit to think of people forced to lived in this kind of a situation, and it makes things more cringe than anything else.
the only thing good about this bit is the awesome ending. she finally snaps and kills him with a hammer, then cuts up the corpse and puts all the different organs into neatly labelled jars.
but it still feels yucky to me.
7/10
This Trick’ll Kill You
Would a crowd seriosul just watch this guy carve up a kid with the blood all over the sword?
Sebastian is a magician on a working holiday in India, where he and his wife Inez are searching for new tricks. Nothing impresses until he sees a girl charming a rope out of a basket with a flute. Unable to work out how the trick is done, he persuades her to come to his hotel room, where he and his wife murder her and steal the enchanted rope. the ending at this point is pretty obvious, the rope will obviously come to life and murderer the couple and that exactly what happens. the most interesting part of this ending happens when Inez experiments with climbing the rope, only to disappear with a scream and we cut too an ominous patch of blood that appears on the ceiling.
That's some David Lynch terrifying magic type shit, and i love it.
9/10
Bargain in Death
this one is the most slapstick and least satisfying.
Maitland is buried alive as part of an insurance scam concocted with his friend Alex. Alex double-crosses Maitland, leaving him to suffocate. Two trainee doctors, Tom and Jerry, bribe a gravedigger to dig up a corpse to help with their studies. When Maitland's coffin is opened, he jumps up gasping for air, scaring Tom and Jerry who run out into the middle of the road in front of Alex's car, which crashes into a tree and explodes. The gravedigger kills Maitland, and when trying to close the sale of the corpse apologizes to Tom and Jerry for the damage to the head.
meh/10
Drawn and Quartered
Man i really hope that Haitian dude is just scamming whatever white people he finds.
Moore is an impoverished painter living in Haiti. When he learns that his paintings have been sold for high prices by art dealers Diltant and Gaskill after being praised by critic Fenton Breedley, all of whom told him that they were worthless, he goes to a voodoo priest and his painting hand is given voodoo power; whatever he paints or draws can be harmed by damaging its image. Returning to London, Moore paints portraits of the three men who cheated him, and mutilates the paintings to exact his revenge. He is also obliged to put his own portrait out in the open, because leaving it in an airless strongbox nearly suffocated him. A workman subsequently drops a can of paint thinner on the picture through a skylight, and Moore suffers a correspondingly messy death.
its a pretty strong segment to end things on, and these ending never disappoint no matter how bad the segment. all in all, this might be my favorite of the bunch
Finale
When the story of the final dream is told, the five ponder the meaning of their nightmares. The lift door opens, and they find themselves looking out onto a graveyard. Rogers, Critchit, Maitland, and Moore walk out into the graveyard and disappear one by one. Sebastian remains behind and explains that they are all damned souls compelled to tell the stories of their evil deeds for all eternity. He then turns back into the room, which is now a mausoleum, walks towards the casket and disappears himself. Then the door slams shut.
Rock and fucking roll.
9/10
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