the second film directed by Rue Morgue president Rodrigo Gudiño, THE BREACH, tells the story of John Hawkins, counting down his last days as Chief of Police in the tiny town of Lone Crow nestled deep in the desolate woods of Northern Ontario. But when a mangled body with uncanny wounds washes up on the shores of the Porcupine River, he's pulled into a horrific mystery that defies comprehension. The Breach stars Allan Hawco (Republic of Doyle, Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan), Emily Alatalo (Spare Parts), Natalie Brown (The Strain, Dark Matter), Mary Antonini (Revenge Delivered), Wesley French (Vikings, Tribal), Adam Kenneth Wilson (Assassin's Creed Valhalla, Shadow Hunters) and Alex Lifeson (best known as the guitarist for RUSH).
The only reason I watch this movie is because I recently got my hands on a copy of RUE MORGUE, whose cover celebrated the film as a delightfully disgusting array of Lovecraftian gore. With its classic MANDYesque horror font title and a soundtrack entirely provided by Guns n' Roses guitarist SLASH, I was expecting this movie to be something a little closer to THE VOID.
On almost every level, this movie fails to deliver on the expectations Its splatterific marketing suggests. It starts as a slow brooding detective story, with our leading cop looking like he leaped straight off the cover of your mom's romance novel. He's almost completely unbelievable as a Canadian sheriff in a small town and reminds me of the unapologetically stupid HELLRAISER: INFERNO. It's a movie that occasionally presents interesting ideas and threads of mystery, but never rewards your patience. Almost the entirety of this film's Gore is saved for the last 10 minutes, by the time you get there, it just feels stupid rather than impactful. It's the movie equivalent of a little kid trying on his big brother's clothes, starting around the living room, feeling like he's a part of the intelligent modern horror crowd. Ultimately, it's a mystery that spirals into pointlessness, with an ending that basically leaves you saying.
Ok, I guess. That happened.
Why is it always the movies? I actually spend money on that turns out to be shitty
3/10
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