this year, I have been on the hunt for a great Christmas horror movie i have never seen before. the lodge made the list last year, gremlins is on the list every year, and this movie is my new favorite Christmas movie.
and i here you chanting already that this movie sucks, and i wont argue. the acting is dreadful, our lead kid is the biggest bitch ever, and the soundtrack sounds like a bunch of 13 year old kids trying to be cool. but this movie is seriously hilarious. the kills have a Monty Python style kind of absurdity, Bill Goldberg is hilarious as murder Santa, the curling angel sub plot is perfectly wacky, and the kills are awesome as fuck. it also has the great small town gremlins vibe that i love in Christmas movies.
this movie is the definition of so bad its good, and im definitely watching this movie next year.
UPDATE DEC 19TH 2021
Man, this movie gets better every year. It was shot in Edmonton and Wetaskiwin Alberta, so this whole movie basically takes place in my backyard.
Bill Goldberg plays the devil's son who lost a wager with an angel and was forced to spend 1000 years playing Santa, but now the wager of that time has run out, and good old Santa isn't so joyful anymore. He makes up for lost time and starts to kill people.
the real joy of this movie comes from 2 things. the first is the wonderfully humorous script by David Steiman that's packed full of surprisingly effective jokes. if the acting in this movie was stronger, i seriously think this movie would be much more well known for the top notch comedy. the second thing that makes this movie so perfect are the scenes that aren't supposed to be funny but are hilarious. the best example i can think of is a scene early on when Mary is giving Nick a ride home in her truck. all of this movies Christmas music is royalty free garbage that would make anyone cringe, but Mary dancing with 10000% enthusiasm to that shitty Christmas rap music makes me laugh out loud every-time. the movie is packed full of moments like this that makes almost every scene in this movie hilarious.
whether its eulogizing all the strippers who died by there stage names, the priest saying nice tits as the scene changes, Mrs Talbot's cry of Merry Christmas and fuck you, Grandpas crop dusting, the weird stop motion scene halfway through, the HOOYA search engine of choice, the most foul mouthed kids i have ever seen, Captain Cock, a very 2005 ignorance to political correctness, and some wonderfully cartoonish kills, this movie never fails to make me laugh.
so if you haven't seen this movie yet, i simply demand you watch this movie this crombus. i heard a rumor the whole thing is on YouTube for free....
10/10 but seriously Nick you are the worst main character in film history.
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