all of the gut-wrenching terror of peacefully floating down the river with a boring tour guide that makes you wonder if you can just sleep through the whole trip.
not so long ago, in the mysterious land of Alberta Canada, our babysitter asked us if we wanted to watch a movie. Movie picking was always a group decision, and unfortunately for my sister our babysitter and I both had a thing for horror. when I think back we only ever watched 2 horror movies as a group, and this one was number one. at the time, it scared my sister (and me) to the point where I would bug her about it years later. when I told her I was rewatching it, she told me and I quote it's such a bad movie, I will never watch that movie again. I wish I would have done the same.
you know how SCREAM brought the horror genre back to life in 1996? Well by 2007 the genre had been murdered once again by movies exactly like this one. the kind of movie that is clearly using whatever generic soundtrack costs the least. the kind of movie that is populated entirely by terrible actors, CGI crocs, and a script so flimsy I wouldn't even bother to try and use it to wipe my ass with.
Even with the small amount of nostalgia I have for this movie, I would rather watch paint dry on a log of dog shit.
whoever made this movie almost 2 hours long, go fuck yourself.
0/10
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