COOTIES

I fuckin' hate kids. An' not just 'cos they're annoying little bastards either, no. Goes deeper than that. See, what I wanna know is, where did we get the idea that Children Are Innocent? Sacrosanct, even? Bleeding' little savages is what they are. An' yeah, I know, it's all some race-memory left over from when we were cavemen - ensure the survival of the species and all that - but for god's sake, we ain't living' in soddin' caves no more, are we? Time to bloody evolve. An' that's the problem. Everyone bangin' on all the time about children being the future, the hope for all of us, all that - an' they're fuckin' not!

—John Constantine, Hellblazer: Son Of Man

This is one of the movies i have only seen once and always thought of as good. if you were to ask me my opinion on this movie before re-watching it, i would have championed how good it is without remembering a single detail. so lets give this bad boy a second watch and hope it hasn't worsened with times savage destruction.

hope your ready to never eat chicken nuggets again (or at least for the week)

When a cafeteria food virus turns elementary school children into killer zombies, a group of misfit teachers must band together to escape the playground carnage. The film stars Elijah Wood, Rainn Wilson, and Alison Pill as teachers who fight to survive the mayhem while hilariously bickering in an uncomfortable love triangle on the worst Monday of their lives.

the cast of this movie kicks ass. Jorge Garcia, Jack McBrayer, Elijah Wood, Rainn Wilson, Matt L Jones, Leigh Whannell, All of these actors are always fun as hell and give great performances. Rainn Wilson is damn near unrecognizable, Leigh Whannell is surprisingly hilarious, and all of the other characters have there own unique quirks. the kid actors are just as awesome as the big boys, and there are plenty of Ad-libs that got a genuine laugh out of me. Honestly if this was a movie about a bunch of dysfunctional teachers dealing with asshole kids, i would be just fine with that.

But don't get me wrong, this movie is only using the violence as a source of conflict, and in general this movie is far more focused on its characters than its violence. i mean a baby does get eaten but... this movie is essentially one big metaphor to talk about how schools have been trained to handle crisis management. Just like therapists, teachers are trained on how to react to students problems without being demeaning or negative in any way. Alison Pill is the human form of that type of person, and its hilarious watch her desperately cling to civility. and when she finally snaps, its my favorite scene in this movie. every kind of teacher and view point is accounted for, and it really holds true to the themes of Romero's zombie classics.

and between you and me, its always nice to have an excuse to complain about what assholes kids are nowadays.

TLDR: This movie is a great comedy that's bloody enough to keep the horror crowd happy without alienating the rest of the world. simply put, this movie kicks ass and really doesn't age at all. maybe i will regret saying that someday...

I'm kind of angy this movie has less than 50% on rotten tomatoes.

8/10