OLD

When I heard there was a brand new m night shyamalan movie, I was honestly excited. My excitement only increased when I saw it had a rotten tomatoes score of 50%, and after coming back from the theater tonight I'm tempted to give it a 0%. This movie is not even close to being enjoyable. Maybe because I was expecting this to be a horror movie, and this movie simply isn't. None of the characters are likable, The 14A rating makes it unbearably tame, and the explanation for everything is one of the least satisfying I've ever seen in a movie. The real highlight of this movie is child actors in the opening scenes, but as soon as they grow up The number of people I give is s*** about in this movie goes to zero. Because of this and the mediocre screenplay, this movie feels like it's two and a half hours long. And then that entire time not a single character in this movie makes one smart decision. It's the very definition of an m night shyamalan movie. he forces himself into the script, the script feels like a first draft, and the movie often breaks its own rules. And perhaps this movie's greatest sin is there is no satisfying conclusion whatsoever. A lot like the happening, it's just a random act of nature that we humans will never understand. So why bother explaining how it's used for medical research? Why do I give a shit as an audience member? Even the directing feels like it was perfectly designed to make you not want to watch this movie. If you want to do one or two 360 shots that's fine, but any more than that you're going to make everyone in the audience motion sick. You are watching a man desperately trying to cling to his long ago relevance by pumping out shitty thrillers once every couple years cuz he knows people like me are dumb enough to go see them. Perhaps most infuriating of all is the glimmers of a decent idea this movie has. There's a few brief moments where this movie dives fully into the horror, and those scenes all work quite well for me. The mentally ill man with his stabby stabs, The crooked backed woman in the cave, and the rusty knife that ends up taking Mr stabby down are all fairly well done scenes. One could also make the argument that the last scene between the mother and father is the movie's most emotional moment, and I was surprised how effective it was in this sea of mediocrity. So if you're thinking of going to see the new m night movie to laugh at it with some friends, don't waste your time.

0/10 fuck you M Night for doing this to my poor eyeballs, I mean seriously no one can hold there breath for that long or open there eyes in salt water, like Jesus man you really need to try harder because this shit is embarrassingly bad.